Wisdom for love

Before theological concepts or abstract ideas or words on a page, we need to understand that we’re dealing with people.

This is especially important in discussing the sensitive topic of dating as it cuts to a vulnerable part in all of us.

So, to end our series this week, I want to step back and provide a few final words on dating outside the Church.

My Honest Opinion

In my honest opinion, I don’t recommend dating non-believers.

Though there’s no explicit prohibition, Paul makes it clear that a mixed-faith relationship is not ideal.

(To be fair, though, Paul’s ideal seems to be single life, 1 Corinthians 7v7.)

While it’s true that believers can positively influence non-believing partners, in my experience such cases are the minority.

What I’ve seen most often is that these relationships are difficult - difficult because each person has a different core value.

It can easily lead to compromise and strife and, in many cases, just isn’t worth it.

But that’s also not the whole story.

A Sea of Grace

I haven’t been following Jesus for long, only shy of 11 years, but in those years, I’ve learned a lot.

And one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is just how wide the Church is.

I came from a background that was staunch in saying “This is this” and “That is that.”

Now, a black-and-white approach is helpful for some things.

For instance, Jesus is God in the flesh. No gray space there.

But not everything is like that.

This has become especially clear to me after joining an intercultural church where everyone comes from a different background.

It’s helped me see how gray the topic of mixed-faith relationships can be.

Yes, I’ve seen some pretty nasty mixed-faith relationships and, personally, I wouldn’t opt for one.

But I’ve also met some mixed-faith couples who are genuinely kind, responsible, and loving.

Life is complex, love and relationships even more. 

If you’re a follower of Jesus in a relationship with someone who isn’t, I hope you don’t feel shamed by what I’ve written this week.

The most important thing we can do is seek God’s presence and love through the circumstances of our lives. 

So, if you’re already in a relationship with a non-believer, seek Christ through that.

And if you’re single, seek Christ through that, making decisions that will bring you closer to Him.

It’s not human wisdom that gets us through such things, it’s the wisdom of God’s Holy Spirit, whom He abundantly gives to His followers.

Dating is complicated, and so is following Jesus, but He’s patient and gracious, and amazing things happen when we let Him into every area of life.

God bless you and have a great weekend.

Jon,

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